I don’t mind that I’m scared of you and that you are scared of me. This fear blooms as something that almost translates into a kind of deep respect. At the end of the day, if we believe in the power in ourselves that we see in each other, we will inevitably ripple the foundations of all that we think needs to be shut the fuck down. And I am excited.
I was getting ready for work yesterday, early bird getting scrubbed up for the office and stuff and all of a sudden I hear this terrifying yelp.SCREEAACCHH ARGGGHHH HELLP ME.I automatically run to my balcony. And there’s this lady being jacked by some hoodlum from around the ways. IN my DRIVEWAY. Holy shit, I knew this town smelt like bin juice and marijuana but we got JACKERS in broad daylight TOO now? Anyway, me being a hopeless stoned hero, I ran down instantly but was too late. The jacker had gotten away with the lady’s bag, she’s already bleeding (minor scratch wounds), the cops have been called by the neighbours who witnessed what happened yada yada.FUCK.
I didn’t learn anything from the experience except that my residency may have to change and that old ladies can lie a lot. I say ‘can lie’ because they can get away with it no matter how shitty the sense in their story is - they’re old and weary and easy as pie to believe. For example, where she had been running after the boy robber (he looked like a giant teddy bear who loves his mother but is going through an awkward teenage bout of rebellion with lads), she had instead been dragged across the concrete for 50 metres, just to name one of her interesting fibs. Her son, who had handsome features and spent most of the time commending me for trying to help, made it super easy to forget about her little lies. Actually I didn’t think twice about it. I don’t like dealing with 5.0 and it’s not like they’re going to go out of their way on this case anyway. Detective Doug was probably more concernced with whether or not I had older sisters. Let her have her non-factual chilling tales of crime while I perve on her offspring.
